I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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