I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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