we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
