would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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