It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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