tell your sister to shave her snatch
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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