I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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