I wannas sexs uuuuu
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
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