it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
