I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
