Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
