can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Randomize
