fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
