look no pants
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
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but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
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Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
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