question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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