forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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