I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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