i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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