i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
