O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
