dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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