I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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