Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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