Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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