2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
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He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
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There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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