is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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