Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
