that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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