I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
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after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
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I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
A bitchslap is in order.
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