My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
why do cheetos always look like penises
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
