I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
What a dumb baby whore.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
