I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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