the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
