Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
