check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
