everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Randomize
