Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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