I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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