this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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