My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize