when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
