I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
My ATM looks so different sober.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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