I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize