I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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