how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize