I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
