I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize