dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
40s are totally the cure
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
