i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
