Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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