I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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