and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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